Posts Tagged ‘negative’

Growing Up with Substance Abusive Parents

Thursday, July 29th, 2021

Growing up with a parent who has a substance abuse problem can introduce a chaotic environment to a child. I grew up with a dad who was addicted to alcohol and drugs. Luckily, I was only exposed to this environment for the first three years of my life, but the things I experienced from the onset of substance abuse were life-changing. According to the book “How to Rise Above Abuse,” Hunt discusses the effects that abuse has on young children as one becomes an adult such as issues with relationships, employment, and major decision making.

Know that these experiences do not define you as a person, only you have the power to define yourself, but you may be faced with side effects of this unruly upbringing.

Anxiety

You may become more sensitive to having anxiety as a result of having a substance abusive parent. You may worry excessively about the future of test results, jobs, relationships, or anything that can cause change. Living with a substance abuser can cause mood swings and unpredictable behavior such as anger outbursts, emotional and/or physical violence. Therefore, you were always anticipating the next outrage from your parent and can keep one on edge. Finding ways to release anxiety helps such as exercising and meditation.

Depression

Growing up with abusive parents can cause one to experience bouts of depression. When anxiety reaches great heights, the down from that can be times of severe exhaustion, sleeping over usual time frames, differences in weight, and possible isolation. Being in tune with your body can help you identify when these bouts of depression occur and you can make the necessary changes to prevent it. Ways to prevent depression are to get adequate sleep, monitor diet, and exercise regularly.

Codependency

For my situation, my father was an addict and my mother was codependent; therefore, I inherited codependency traits. Feeling like another person defines you and that you have no value or worth without that person are all signs of codependency. Overcoming codependency is not an easy journey. I have personally had to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and rebuild new healthy behaviors. The hardest hurdles can be setting boundaries and sticking to them.

Drama

The drama that ensues from an addicting environment can be very sporadic. You may feel like your life is boring if there is nothing going on. Therefore, some people create drama to keep up with the cycle of uproar. If you find yourself addicted to watching melodramas on television and your friends amuse you on their recent relationship debacles, then take a step back and lessen your time with these forms of entertainment. Find other ways to spend your time such as reading or painting.

Hope

There will always be hope inside of you for a brighter day. Hold onto it. It is your stronghold and will get you out of your cycle and situation. When you educate yourself on the matter of substance abuse, learn the cycle, learn how you contribute to the situation, then you can become a better you.

“Thankfulness is the quickest path to joy.” – Jefferson Bethke

Sources:

Today is the Day to Lose Negative Attitudes

Friday, July 23rd, 2021

sun

I must have got up on the wrong side of the bed today. My day started bad and went downhill from there.

Here are a few of the ‘wrongs’ that I was feeling:

  • I just knew all my recent decisions were wrong
  • My hair looked horrible – I just could not get it to behave
  • I was not feeling loved – people just hang around me because they need something
  • I was heading off to work for yet another day of no respect
  • I was fat, ugly and I had no shoes to wear

So you see my day was horrible. You can surely understand why I was griping and whining.

Worms!

Worms are those insistent negative thoughts that keep trying to wiggle their way into our minds. And I was on a very unhealthy mental diet of them.

Is your diet filled with worms? They are easy to identify. You don’t even need to read one of those difficult nutrition charts to find them.

Here are a few clues to help you determine your daily intake of worms:

  • Worms almost always start with the word “I”, and if they don’t they will contain the words “my”, “mine” or “me”.
  • They are only interested in self.
  • Worms are never positive although they do not mind hearing positive self-interested comments from others in response to their negative comments. (“I look ugly.” “No, you don’t. You are beautiful.”)
  • Worms want to be heard. They look for people to talk with to help spread their negativity.
  • Worms would rather be alone to sulk than to be with someone who has a positive attitude.

As soon as I determined that I was on a worm-filled diet I decided to make some changes. It is really quite simple to rid yourself of those slippery, devious worms.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Say WORMS as loud as you can. It will make you laugh and start your attitude change.
  • Get away from anyone who is passing out worms – stay away from negative influences.
  • Make a point of praising someone
  • Find someone who needs some help – and help them
  • Compliment another person to a third party Be open and loving Be cooperative
  • How has your mental diet been today? Was it filled with self-interested negativity, those worms? Or were you on a healthy positive diet?

When circumstances are somewhat “normal”, you are in complete control of the joy within your day. Even when there are unexpected circumstances you are in control of your reactions or responses.

If you find yourself having an awful day, if you just feel as if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, take a moment to look at the clues listed above and see if you are on a bad mental diet.

If you find that you are being unduly negative say WORMS and then change your perspective. Start right now. The people who love you are waiting…….