Posts Tagged ‘therapy’

How to Let Go of the Past

Tuesday, September 7th, 2021

Past and future thoughts are the most dominant thoughts in our minds. To worry about the future is one thing, but to dwell on the past is quite another story. Do we dwell in the past because we’re afraid of what the future might bring? Or is there an unresolved issue in the past we’re unable to let go of? It could be that we’re just afraid of losing control.


It’s always nice to walk down memory lane reliving the good times from the past. Some people even believe the best is over and the worst is yet to come. Usually these people spend their time constantly thinking about what used to be. I’m sure most of us would like to re-live some of our childhood memories over, but some of us just can’t release the past.

The Mind

Hundreds of thoughts enter our minds each day, but the thoughts which use up most of our mental powers are thoughts of failure. Our problem solving minds go to work fixing and solving whatever situation we throw at it, whether it’s too late or not. Our third dimensional mind is a supercomputer that we “somewhat” control, yet sometimes our mental abilities are altered by the dreaded ego.

The ego controls our sense of self such as: who we think we are, what we think we can achieve, or anything which deem to be a threat: mental, or physical. When this sense of self is altered by a mishap or a mistake the ego automatically kicks in to rectify the situation.

Sense of Reality

Most of the time the ego is not noticed as we unconsciously start thinking about or replaying over a past situation; this is where the rub begins. Unsettled situations can usually never be filed away (in the mind) until we can accept the outcome of the situation.

Our sense of failure has permanently been logged into our minds, and the ego never fails to remind us of this. Whether we screwed up is not the problem. The key is to accept the situation (past or present) as an outcome, and not as a negative reflection on ourselves.

Most destructive emotions are fear based emotions. Fear is an emotion that is also ruled by an overactive ego. The Toltecs referred to the ego as “the voice of the judge that leads us into the dream of Hell.” This “Hell” they were referring to could quite possibly be the Hell of the mind.

Those who constantly dwell on the past are threatened by a separation from the past. The past has left them before they were ready to let go of it, and now it’s out of their control. Control is another ploy of the ego.

Why must we always be in control? This is the same situation with those who dwell on the thoughts of death, which is another situation where we have no control.

Emotional Release

It’s fine and dandy to think about the good times from the past, but we have to keep in mind that the past is out of our control. Reliving a bad situation over and over (from the past) does nothing but ruin the present moment in time. Soon you’ll be reliving this moment in time. Sometimes this cycle never ends.

Acceptance is the key to letting go of our failures or mistakes in the past. Non-judgment of ourselves is another biggie when living with an overactive ego. Don’t let your ego tell you that you’re a failure by the mistakes you’ve made in the past!

Your mind is a wonderful tool, so why not use it to help your emotional outlook, and not destroy it. When a bad memory from the past enters the mind, ask yourself what you can do to change this thought. If you’re left alone in your thoughts trying to figure it all out, then throw out these useless thoughts.

If you have trouble stopping these destructive emotions, give your mind some new creative ways of thought. After a while your mind will get used to these new thought patterns, and your new way of thinking. Persistence is a must when dealing with the mind. Regaining control over your mind will take some time, so try to be patient.

Be mentally conscious of your thoughts, and learn to control which thoughts invade your mind. Although we can never rid ourselves completely of the ego, we can at least help to slow it down to be a more productive part of the mind. Your emotional outlook hangs in the balance. So be smart and live in the moment, not in the past.

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Facts About Therapists

Wednesday, August 25th, 2021

The relationship between the client and therapist is the most crucial factor throughout the therapeutic process. It may not be verbalized, but the client is also helping the therapist. Both are viewed as partners in the therapeutic relationship. The therapist will have mountains to climb and hurdles to jump with the client. Therapists must find a style of a therapeutic process which he/she can use to make his/her own.

The therapist is also required to gain personal growth. The job can be very difficult, but as long as the therapist can find that balance between personal and professional lives, the reward can be tremendous.


Sometimes the therapist can become desensitized by human emotion and he/she can turn away from his/her clients, family, and friends. The more the clients talk about his/her unresolved issues, the more the therapist can feel insecure and ineffectual. No matter how the client acts, the therapist feels compelled to be available and understanding. Therapists are profoundly affected by client’s experiences. In an effort to be open with the clients, therapists may risk losing his/her independence along the way.

Pressure cooker

Therapists always feel the pressure to perform. Therapists can face self-doubt when clients quit and cancel appointments. Some feel that he/she may have failed the clients when the ability to produce results is not effective. Confrontation takes its toll on both the client and therapist because it needs to be well-timed and prepared. Sometimes therapists are required to say things to clients that no one else will.

Therapists risk the fact that the client may or may not be willing to face the reality of his/her problems. Clients can be a therapist’s best teacher in showing us what is and what is not working.

Power struggle

The struggles for power and influence are obstacles that the therapist encounters. While the therapist attempts to bring about change on the client, so does the client attempt the same on the therapist for his/her own purposes? The client may try to persuade the therapist to take his/her side and to work through unsettled transference relationships. Some clients act as his/her own self-healers and only use the therapist as a crutch or consultant.

According to the book “On Being a Therapist,” the author notes that therapists are no longer perceived as logical, authorities experts, but as partners in therapy. During the first decade of the profession, therapists were intimating master clinicians.

Mandatory professionalism

Therapists are perceived as being professional models for his/her clients. Models give reinforcement to those who express an interest in being just like him/her. The general public views therapists as “crazy shrinks” who have troubles in his/her own life and will never are able to help others. Some believe that therapy and growth are for only clients but not themselves. Regardless of what society thinks about therapists, it is essential to keep professional at all times necessary. But also, remain your genuine self.